i know.. i know..

i know..
i hadn’t been blogging religiously..
but it’s just..
my life hadn’t had much changes lately.
and i don’t want to like blog about my life like daily?
but these few weeks have really been quite alright for me.
not struggling to go through each day like last time..
i am happier now, with more friends. =)

cny is coming.
im so excited. =D
it’s the first time my boyfriend and my family are like going out together and doing stuffs.
having dinner together.
it’s just exciting.
yet..
scary at the same time.
because this just shows that he has already made his way into my.. family..

babyy..

valentine’s day coming.
cons: not enough time to spend with him because it’s the first day of CNY.
pros: at least he can book out and spend some time with me thanks to CNY.

anyway.
kind of shared stuffs with my new friends about my friendship with a particular girl in the past..
really have mixed feelings.
don’t really know what to say..
going to throw it in my private blog.

=)
till then.

 

short hair.

i just realised that short hair with curls. looks fucking ugly.

i am fucking upset now.

 

updates.

currently.
i am still not brave enough to post my freakingly short hair pictures.
so….
till then. no pictures ok!

major damages in spending:
1. dresses: up to 200
2. rebonding: 150
3. hair mousse: 30
4. hair curler babyliss: 70
5. hairdryer: 60
6. round brush: 30 (wtf. such an exp. brush)

okay. i am not going to my new year’s shoes and bags. brushes and makeup. no eye to see. stop spending lah! but im a girl. =| almost impossible not to.
i wtf-ed at boyfriend for him going to buy a $400 watch and a $300 sunglass, but i guess, he will spend lesser than me in time to come.

 

work..

work is so tiring! and it’s only the first day! =|

 

the words..

babyy.
have i been a very bad girl?
i am sorry..
sometimes, i just want alittle more time, attention.. from you..
sometimes, i purposely quarrel with you over the phone so i can hear you alittle longer..
do i sound stupid?
i know i must have sounded like a fool.

i am sorry..
i couldn’t understand you more..
i couldn’t go through what you are going through now..
i won’t bug you like a pest anymore..

i don’t wanna be who i was.
please.

 

where is the new tina?

my secret blog.. is getting depressing..

 

changing..

being who i am hurts..
showing you how much i need you..
showing you how vulnerable i really am..
showing you who tina really is..
i thought, with you,
i can just be myself and not hide the true me..

but as i show you more and more of myself.
i find..
maybe to you,
i am irritating..
to you, maybe calling me has became a chore.
to you, maybe tiredness has overcome you and all you want is to close your eyes..
not hear your girlfriend cry and demand an explaination..
to you, all you need is an understanding girlfriend.
not some wailing baby.

every night,
i won’t make your call the highlight of my day.
i won’t expect any calls.
i won’t have any expectations..

being who i am hurts.
i don’t want to be who i am anymore.
even if i have to hide my true self.
i will do it..
even if i can’t take it and need to break down.
i won’t do it infront of you.
because..
i won’t show you the weak side of me anymore..
if this will make our relationship become the way it was.
i will do it.
even if it means sacrificing and becoming who i am not..

bye tina..

 

hurt..

you hurt me..

i won’t be who i was anymore.. because i lost the you i fell so deeply in love with..

 

looked through..

thought about many many things.

decided on what i should do.
i pray that God stay by me, help me..
lead me in the things i should do.

my face has broken out into rashes. ):

i have to set my priorities.
i have to be more understanding.
i have to start saving up for my future and studies.
i have to be a strong girl!

(:
God bless me. (:

 

facial.

today i went for my very first facial.

and it sucks! i don’t know if it is supposed to be like that or what because i have never done facials before. IT HURTS DAMN BAD! and they fucking push sell their package to me. force me to put a 29.90 deposit. it’s not alot but its like ARGH! i don’t even intend to go back. even when they know that i am damn unhappy with the results, they still are so insistend! giving me all sorts of explaination. damn! the manicurist made my thumb bleed too! don’t know how she cut my cuticles!  just so angry. =| my face is full of red patches now. argh. not as if it isn’t bad enough. ):

bought alot of stuffs. bought my hair extensions, and pink extension. many dresses! bought my makeup brushes and liquid foundation. just left with a big powder brush. =D bought many earrings. it’s like 8 for 10dollars. wahaha.

tips to losing weight.

• eat in small amounts. (i feel good when i don’t feel bloated)

this is the one tip that i realised this week. =D be it fried food or rice or carbo, you can eat anything you want! just in little amount. and if you crave for something, just have it! and continue being disciplined for the next few days. (:

boyfriend’s coming back later. im making french toast and stuffs for him. and potato salad. morning mah. breakfast. monday i made lunch for family and boyfriend’s mom. and omg, all of them liked it. =D thank God.

stupid FACIAL!